Found my heart on wounded knee

Wounded Knee is what I call the horse path/fire road that winds past my home into the hills behind us. I took a 7-mile run on it monday and it brought back memories of why I call it Wounded Knee. About six weeks back I was on about mile 5 of the loop, heading down hill and on my way home when I had one of those slow motion moments. You know, the ones where you can see the disaster unfolding before you, but there's not a darn thing you can do about it. For me it was a tree root. As I went down the hill, I was becoming aware I wasn't doing a very good job of lifting my feet (the side effect of fatigue). I thought to myself, gee, I really should lift my feet or I'll trip over a tree root and go .... arrggghhh.
There's about six inches of my skin now stretched over a rock and parts of that trail. I wasn't seriously hurt (well, when you're 47 every hurt seems like a serious hurt) but it stung. Pumped with adrenalyn (nice spelling), I got up and finished my run, cursing along the way. I did my best to clean and bandage the bloody mess and headed off to work. Needless to say, my leg stiffened that night and I had a difficult time hobbling around the office (you'd think they'd get used to seeing me limp). I had to take about five days off of running.
You know, you fall off the horse and they say you should get right back on. But why should I get on again when the darned thing is just going to knock me down? In my head, I couldn't justify getting back on that trail and running again. But something in my heart made me. And the next time I ran it I was a little frightened (and darned slow too), but I made it without falling. And I've made it six or seven times since then (although today I stumbled). I always run the trail with the utmost respect, watching where I'm going, picking up my feet, not being reckless. And for now it works for me.
So what is this thing in my heart that made me want to go back? Is it the same thing that drives me to take on Hurricane Point again (that Everest-like climb in the middle of the Big Sur Marathon)? Why can't I be happy with just conquering Wounded Knee?
Maybe I'll take a long run tommorrow and ponder this (or just think about the poetry of cheese sandwiches).


7 miles on Monday, Tuesday spent at the grocery store and running errands (in my running clothes because I was going to sneak a workout in between Costco and Albertsons, but it didn't work out). I hate it when life gets in the way of running.