a week after

The scabs are flaking off my palms and two of my toenails have come off. I can walk down stairs without any pain and there's a spring in my step as I get out of chairs. I guess I've pretty much recovered ... now, what do I do with the rest of my life? I've been through this post-marathon depression before. I'm reminded of last year as Jon and Kenny, the former running bloggers, made huge plans for their next marathon after finishing their first. They never ran that next marathon, in fact, they no longer run. Myself, I pulled a calf muscle a few weeks after last year's marathon, also my first, and spent the summer weight training. In the fall I decided to take another shot at the Big Sur. But right now I'm trying to figure out just where running fits into my life, or if it fits anywhere at all. I know it certainly shouldn't be the focus ... but in a funny way it helps keeps me focused, gives me the umpf to do what I want to do in life. And having that goal of running a marathon serves as a great motivator to get me out the front door. Sunday I was talking with a friend about that experience from miles 20-26, the depression, despair yet ultimately the great joy (of course, the way I describe it, there's a whole lot more about the depression and despair, just call me Eeyore). "I'll bet you'll think twice before doing that again," he said, and his expression told me he thought once was more than enough. I don't know. The San Francisco Marathon is at the end of July, and the flat, fast Silicon Valley marathon is at the end of October. There's so much more going on in my life it's hard to make a decision. For now, I'm heading to the gym, my first post marathon workout. I'm hoping it will help knock me out of this post-marathon daze.